Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The baby train.

Everyone is pregnant.  It's like the stork hit my Facebook wall and passed out babies like Oprah passes out Keurigs at Christmas. Would Ellen be a more relevant reference these days?  Whatever. I have been seeing a supposed supremo doctor since August. So far... there is nothing on this baby train but something to look forward to is a regrouping session with the doctor in December.

In case you aren't in the loop I am struggling to sustain pregnancies.  I have had a couple of miscarriages to date and hope to not have anymore at any point in time. One was a regular miscarriage and the other ectopic.  Let me tell you about a crazy doctor I used to have...  They would text me and say my numbers were great, then text me and say she needed more tests done, then I was having twins, and then I was having an ectopic pregnancy.  This was all started about a week after I turned 30.  Like that wasn't a big enough blow to the gut.

Now test after test and blood draw after blood draw we have conclusive information that I do not need any further genetic testing.  The only genetic problem that I carry happens to be my good looks. Oh, and I have an ovary that doesn't produce prime eggs (meaning it has some eggs every month but they aren't big enough for produce produce).  Lucky me.

 The right response to this post would be that this all sucks. All of it.   I don't think I want to talk about adoption yet or how I might have a kid later, I don't need you to tell me to relax and don't go and tell me to enjoy my time with Chad while we have don't have kids because it won't always be available. We have been together for years and have enjoyed most of every second of it.  Yes, I have enjoyed every moment is a large statement.  I did cry through our entire wedding ceremony.  I don't know why.  I just did. We are ready to share that joy that we have for each other with a miniature version of us.  I mean we are the most beautiful people around this blog yeah?

I am not being a butthead, stubborn, whiny, dramatic, ect.  Just honest.

To pass the time while we are waiting for the train to pick up I am enjoying purging almost everything in our house.  Literally.  We still have a kitchen sink but if it was ripped out I wouldn't mind it at all. I have sold a ton of things in my booth, on Craigslist and donated even more. The guys at Goodwill are like,"Hey what up Lily?" when I pull up in my Subaru (that I have been getting washed and vacuumed weekly lately).  And yes... for some reason they still ask me if I need a receipt.  Obviously, there is no tax credit riding around in the backseat so yes.  The answer is yes. The last time I was pregnant we  got our nursery ready... then we bought a mattress and made it a guestroom.

What's wrong with me?  Am I a monster?  Well...you don't have to respond. I am comfortable talking about it?  Most of the time.  My mom (sorry mom) always says,"How's your bod?"  That's weird.  I let her know that it's a strange way to say, "are you pregnant yet?"   I am working on it.  I am going to try to post every couple of weeks so you can read about how things are progressing. You are welcome to get on board but we might be at the station for a little bit.

Over and not pregnant,


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